The Anna Kavan Papers
1986.003.2

Series 2: Correspondence: Raymond Marriott (dated)

Inventory

Please note: each piece of correspondence was numbered by Bertram Rota, Ltd., possibly in the order in which they found it, before the material was sent to Tulsa. This assigned number appears as the last element of each entry. Since some letters have been more recently dated (or approximately dated), the order here--as nearly chronological as possible--no longer strictly follows the numerical order.
Raymond Marriott
All letters are handwritten and signed from Anna Kavan to Raymond Marriott unless otherwise noted.
2:3 Apr 1945. "Thank you most awfully for the torch. It was my birthday on Monday so I can include it as an arbitrary present...."    
       
  4 May.  "I tried to ring you, but something seems wrong with the phone."  Handwritten and signed postcard.  15    
       
  23 Jun.  "I've just finished reading [Alan] Lewis's letters--yes, he certainly had the writer's vision...."  16    
       
  30 Jul.  "I didn't answer your letter as I thought I might be seeing you...."  Handwritten and signed postcard. 19    
       
  28 Dec.  "How are you? As you didn't phone or send me any message, I assumed that you had recovered sufficiently to get away for Christmas...."  Typed note.  22    
       
  29 Apr 1946. "I got a message last night which seemed to say you were going to phone me this morning; but perhaps it didn't...."  Handwritten and signed postcard.  18    
       
  9 May. "The typescript arrived in the afternoon. Thanks for the criticism of ["The Meadow"]...."  Handwritten and signed postcard.    
       
  [13 May].  "I didn't say much about the piece you gave me to read because we were all together at the time, and I think that one's work is something which probably ought to be kept rather private...."  Typed note.   10    
       
  Jun.  "I'm sorry you're cross because I didn't let you know sooner that I wasn't coming. As I said I tried to get in touch with you on four separate occasions during the day...." 
Typed and signed letter. 14
   
       
  7 Jun.  "After our conversation on the people who do and don't get away with things, this seems rather a fantastic request...."   23    
       
  15 Aug.  "I thought after you'd gone that perhaps you would help me carry the beer bottles tomorrow evening...."  Handwritten and signed postcard.  24    
       
  10 Sept.  "Sometimes I'm afraid you must think me ungracious because I don't show my appreciation of your sensitivity and kindness in a more obvious way...."  25    
       
  17 Sept.  "I'm sorry about last night--it was lucky I didn't come to the theatre as I [---] passed out later...."  26    
       
  18 Sept.  "In case I don't get you on the phone this afternoon. this is just to say that I'd like to go to the play tomorrow...."  Handwritten and signed postcard.  30    
       
  19 Sept.  "I'm sorry to have missed the Cocteau play but I couldn't possibly have got to the theatre in time--even if I'd felt all right...."   27    
       
  26 Nov.  "It's rather odd you are going to Amersham as I have to go there sometime to see a woman called Mrs. Ashton-Cross--but I think I'd have to go in day time...."   33    
       
  29 Nov.  "I am in earnest for the mop. I forgot to ask you to make my salutations [disting---] to the dear princess...."  Handwritten and signed postcard.   34    
       
  7 Dec.  "Thanks for the wire. I'm sorry not to be able to see you but I hope you'll enjoy the trip to Bristol and that Lionel will have a great success...."   35    
       
  Sunday.  "Of course I wouldn't have asked you to come round here if I'd known George was ill--I do hope you didn't think I was "Making demands" on you. I feel very depressed and miserable about everything except my work...."   7    
       
  10 Dec.  "You must have come just after I went out at lunch time--what a pity...."  36    
       
2:4 8 Jan 1947.  "I'm so sorry there has been this misunderstanding about tonight--especially as I was careful, as I thought to avoid giving the impression that I expected two visitors...."   37    
       
  9 Feb.  "A terrible thing has happened. I've lost Miss Allen's address...."  38    
       
  19 Feb.  "I'm so sorry you had to go to my place twice--it somehow never occured to me that the [Barker's] would be away...."   39    
       
  [20 or 27 Feb].  "Thank you for your letter and for letting me see your story which I'll send back when I get a big envelope...."    
       
  [2 Mar].  "Thank you so much for your letter. I didn't mean to send the one I wrote you a few days ago, but it somehow got posted by mistake with some other letters...."   40    
       
  [2 or 8 Mar].  "[The other thing.] Do you remember Whitby, that guy at [Cook's] Berkeley [St.] just inside the oooo [sic]?"    
       
  8 Mar.  "Thank you very much indeed for your letter and the papers (which were not dispatched into oblivion)...."   41    
       
  9 Mar. "Thank you for being so kind and helpful; as indeed I felt sure you would be. You are about the only person (in Europe, anyway) upon whose friendship I feel I can rely...."   42    
       
  15 Mar. "I'm awfully sorry you had such unpleasantness at Cook's--and all to no purpose. Poor old Whitby...."   43    
       
  19 Mar.  "Well, I did get here, you see, despite my premonition of frustration--(it's become a conditioned reflex by now)...."   45    
       
  [24 Mar].  "I meant to write yesterday, but the weather's been so awful and I've been feeling like the wrath of god, so I thought I'd better wait...."   46    
       
  10 Apr.  "Nice to get back from a dull windy walk and find a letter from you which I didn't expect, as I hadn't answered the previous one...."   47    
       
  16 Apr.  "Thank you very much for your letter about the visit to Campden St...."   48    
       
  19 Apr.  "Thank you for your nice long letter. this will be a horrid little short one and the last I'll wirte from Kreuzlingen...."  49    
       
  24 Apr.  "Thank you for your letter. I expect to be back in London Maonday or Tuesday and will phone you after I arrive...."  Handwritten and signed postcard.  78    
       
2:5 7 Jul.  "I hear you are on the phone now--that's good...."  Handwritten and signed postcard.   50    
       
  9 Oct.  "The ship is just about to sail so I haven't time to do more than send this ticket and my love...."   52    
       
  9 Oct.  "Au revoir and good wishes. Anna. "  Telegram.   51    
       
  17 Oct.  "Already it seems so long since I left that I've forgotten Rhy's address--I hope you won't mind sending on a letter to him...."   53    
       
  24 Oct.  "Don't start reading this with the idea that it's a horrid little note--there's really room to write quite a lot...."  54    
       
  4 Nov. "What a lot of nice things you wrote in your letter. I hope you really do feel that way about me; but even if you were idealizing the situation that was very nice too...."   55    
       
  [12 or 13 Nov].  "Grateful thanks to the bad train service London-Newcastle which was apparently responsible for such a nice long leter from you...."   56    
       
  1 Dec.  "Your air letter came this morning, so I just want to tell you I'm very glad you are considering the matter of [Mrs.] B. in your book...."   57    
       
  1 Dec.  "I had a dream about you last night but I've forgotten its details...."   58    
       
  4 Dec.  "I am disappointed that Doubleday turned down the book after all. What a shame...."   59    
       
  10 Dec.  "Your letter written on the fifth came this morning--that's the quickest yet for a communication by air from England as far as I know...."   60    
       
  25 Dec.  "Thank you for two letters and for sending the copy of Bluth's letter and the cuttings...."   67    
       
2:6 7 Jan 1948.  "It was good of you to tell me about your book...."   66    
       
  10 Jan.  "Arriving London Feb 14.  Telegram.  65    
       
  12 Jan.  "I hope you didn't mind my asking you to help me find a flat--it's a frightful request I know, but I feel rather desperate. How does one find a plce to live on a differenct continent?" 64    
       
  13 Jan.  "Although I wrote you a scrappy note only yesterday I want to tell you how pleased I was to get your letter this morning...."   63    
       
  16 Jan.  "Extremely grateful to you. Arrival postponed till March 12 in hope flat available."  Telegram.   62    
       
  21 Jan.  "You'll be tired of seeing my handwriting and giving you all this trouble too about the flat...."   61    
       
  31 Jan.  "How extremely good of you to do all this about finding a flat. I hope something will turn up soon...."    
       
  2 Feb.  "I almost wish youd taken the Peel St. place for me, phone or no phone. (The pianist wouldn't worry me; I know that from experience having had one just over my head in New York for nearly a year)...."   69    
       
  9 Feb.  "Obliged to decide immediately about passage."  Telegram.   71    
       
  10 Feb.  "I do hope that cable I sent this morning didn't sound authoritarian and awful. It's so terribly hard to express anything in very few words withouty giving an impression of being imperious and abrupt...."   70    
       
  25 Feb.  "I'm terribly sorry all this flat business has been such a headache and that I've in some mysterious way messed things up by writing to the White House myself...."   72    
       
  3 Mar.  "I expect you already think I'm quite crazy. So I won't start by saying this letter is sure to give that impression...."   74    
       
  10 Mar.  "I was delighted to be told by Ethel today that your book had been accepted by a new publisher--many congratulations...."   75    
       
  April.  "Thank you very much for your nice letter. It was encouraging to find it here when I arrived on Saturday...."   4    
       
  Easter. [Gift tag.]   69    
       
  30 Apr.  "It ws very nice of your to see me off. What a pity you didn't feel like coming along...."  Handwritten and signed postcard.   77    
       
  5 May.  "The weather has been so atrocious ever since I arrived in Switzerland that I decided to get my cure over first and have all the depression at once...."   79    
       
2:7 11 May.  "I'm leaving here this evening and going to Hotel Moy, Thunersee, Oberhofen. So will you write me there...."  Handwritten and signed postcard.  76    
       
  21 May.  "Yes, I was surprised to hear you'd gone to Paris though I quite understand that going away with Lionel is a very different proposition to travelling with me...."   80    
       
  26 May.  "Your charming telegram did me a lot of good, Raymond. It was a really kind, civilized and sensitive thing to do, and I do appreciate your thoughtfulness greatly...."   81    
       
  30 May.  "Thank you very much for 2 letter--one written on such grand notepaper; have you had a huge advance from one of your publishers?"   82    
       
  7 Jun.  "Thanks for your nice long letter. I'm still in bed, but please don't sympathize with me any more...."   83    
       
  11 Jun.  "Thanks for your letter and for the piece about your book."   85    
       
  23 Jun.  "Thank you very much indeed for your letter and for the papers. It was good and energetic of you to write to John O'London's in my defence...."   87    
       
  28 Jun.  "I wasn't serious about the dedication--why not take me more lightly? Of course there's not the faintest reason why you should dedicate anything to me...."   86    
       
  4 Jul.  "I'm glad my letter didn't make you cross. What I wrote was meant sincerely and in a perfectly friendly way...."   88    
       
  5 Nov.  "Thank you very much indeed for writing and also for sending me Fridberg's list which I hadn't seen...."   89    
       
  17 Feb 1949.  "I'm so sorry I didn't see you to say goodbye properly. You must forgive me for not coming to lunch yesterday because I really had too much to do to see anyone...."   90    
       
  3 Mar.  "Not saying goodbye to me seemed such an extraordinary action on your part that for sometime I tried to ignore it as an isolated, inexplicable phenomenon...."   91    
       
  3 Apr.  "Thank you for the nice things you wrote in your last letter. I'm very glad you still feel like that about me...."   93    
       
  18 Apr.  "Many thanks for the papers. How is your book going, I wonder...."   92    
       
  11 May.  "Yes, I did get both your letters. The earlier one just after I'd posted mine. There is nothing to tell you except that we are really and truly leaving day after tomorrow...."   94    
       
  11 Nov.  'I gather that KT has explained to you about "The Horse's Tale" having to be sent to private people, and that you kindly said you had no objection to your address being used...."   95    
       
  Jul 1951.  "Seeing you yesterday revived an old grievance of mine. I wish that you would get George to return my picture. A picture is a far more personal thing than a book...."  Typed and signed letter.   96    
       
  26 Jul.  "Thank you so much for returning the picture. I am so glad to have it back...."  Handwritten and signed postcard.  97    
       
  Jan 1955.  "I have kept one blue ball because it looks so nice in the shell--do forgive me...."  Handwritten postcard.   98    
       
  26 Dec.  "I certainly owe you a very big apology for spoilinig your evening when you'd been so kind over buying the tree and decorating it so beautifully...."   99    
       
  18 Aug 1957.  "I'm so sorry not to have arranged anything with you before, but, as you may have heard from George, there has been rather a turmoil lately with income tax people and other horrors...."   100    
       
  2 Dec 1959.  [Envelope only.]    
       
  11 Dec.  "Should hope you've found somewhere suitable to live...."   97    
       
  [25 Dec].  "This is to wish you all you wish yourself....Handwritten and signed postcard.  98    
       
Undated  circa 1945-1959
2:8 "Please try not to be antagonized by me. If I seem intolerant or fed up you might remember that probably I'm feeling intolerant of myself...." 6.    
       
  "I had to go out to some one who is ill, so couldn't wait for you here. I will be at the Windsor Castle from 7 o'clock...."  5    
       
  "You are certainly doing the right thing even if you're bored. Boredom doesn't do any damage unless it goes on too long. It can be quite beneficial in some situations...."  9    
       
  "Sorry about tonight. I presume you can't manage it as there's been no message. What about tomorrow evening? The [M---] have suddenly recalled my existence for some unknown reason...."  13.    
       
  "KT would like very much to come to you tomorrow (Sunday) evening about 8. It will probably be 8.30, I warn you...."   20    
       
  "Who is [R--- Banham]? I like what he says about Cyril's 'sickly aristophilia'...."  Handwritten note on verso of an envelope.     
       
  "Monday 2 a.m. (so don't read any more if you feel Rhys- ish about me.) Do get in touch with me as soon as you can. Everything seems to go down the drain about twice as fst for some reason while you are away..."    
       
2:9 [Dated by an unknown hand] 26 Feb 1960.  "As you doubtless know, the telephone people send 1/2 [---] accounts with the rent divided into 1 quarter...."   99    
       
  4 Mar.  "What an imposing seal on your letters--I wish such things were more in fashion...."  100    
       
  10 Mar.  "How can I get a copy of THE STAGE? I want to se what you said about the 2 plays. After much deliberation, I decided the colored man was god..."   101    
       
  15 Mar.  "Rhys is supposed to be coming (if the book is finished) tomorrow night...."   102    
       
  17 Mar.  "I feel I didn't thank you properly for the charming little bowl. It was very sweet of you to give it to me...."   103    
       
  23 Mar.  "I must go to the Building Center this afternoon...."   104    
       
  29 Mar.  "Thank you for your note. I hope the [B---] thing was worth going out in the cold for. I had to go to the hospital yesterday and was nearly frozen...."   105    
       
  31 Mar.  "I got taken to see the Bacon exhibition, so I don't think I'll come again, though it is interesting...."   106    
       
  2 Apr. "Thank you for your note, etc. I didn't answer yesterday as I thought I might see you--not that there was anything to say specially. Would you be kind enough to allow me to bring a man called Deubach into your flat about 6 this evening?"  107    
       
  8 Apr.  "I meant to say how sorry I am about tonight--hope it hasn't messed things up for you. Please don't think I'll never come, and stop asking me...."   108    
       
  19 Apr.  "Did you get a letter from Saroyan? I wonder what you made of it. No doubt you saw this cutting yesterday...."  Typed and signed letter.  109    
       
  23 Apr. "Thank you for your note, etc. Miss Picton is very grateful for the shillings--I never seem to get any.. I am looking forward very much to seeing the Rhinoceri, it will cheer me up after the hospital...."  Typed and signed letter.  110    
       
  24 Apr.  "Thanks for note and cutting--Yes, I knew Sylvia Beach once upon a time. Gwyneth knew/knows her much better, so I'll send on cutting...."   111    
       
  14 May.  "I'm still being used as a most miserable guineapig, feeling ghastly. But I expect I'll recover later in the day...."  Typed note.   112    
       
  16 May.  "If you come in again before dinner time this evening, would you let me have particulars of that $500 competition, which I promised to show Rhys?"  113    
       
  9 Jun.  "Kt is in bed and I went to see him for a time between 6 and 8--don't know exactly when--I hope you didn't ring my bell during this time...."   114    
       
  27 Jun.  "Thank you for defending me last night, and also for being so nice about my peculiar cooking. Don't bother if you haven't time, gut if you were to leave a tiny note for Miss P. 'glad you're back'...."  115    
       
  20 Jul.  "So sorry you've not been well. [Cra---] no good at the beginning of the week. I've managed to get duplicate clock key at last...."  117    
       
  21 Jul.  "Thank you for your [---] letter. Could you come Saturday evening?"  118    
       
  22 Jul.  "I've got a bag which might brighten up your weekend shopping, unless you're sentimentally attached to the old delapidated one I met you with last week...."  119    
       
  1 Aug.   'Thank you for your note and for being so kind about the [canes]. But really it's not necessary for you to bring them all that way, as I discovered on Saturday that Barker's now have them in stock again...."  120    
       
  4 Aug.  "I've promised to take the young foreign visitor to see the sculpture in Battersea Park--do you think it would be worth while asking Bill to take us and bring us back?"  121    
       
  18 Sept.  "I'm so sorry we had to cut things short last night; I only hope you found something more rewarding to do later...."  122    
       
  20 Sept.  "Please forgive me, in the course of a horrible crowded and disagreeable day I seem to have lost your letter without reading it...."  Typed note.  123    
       
  Nov.  "Thanks for letter, etc. Yes, the play's had terrible notices--absurdly solemn some of them--I got the impression the writers wanted to seem too highbrow for it...."  124    
       
  Nov.  "I keep forgetting to ask about the gramaphone. Would you rather borrow it and get a tiny present at Xmas as well, or have it as a Xmas present?"  125    
       
  30 Nov.  'So that's settled about the record player-- you'll have it as a premature Xmas present. When would you like to fetch it?"   126    
       
  7 Jan 1961.  "Glad the bird was O.K. I liked it too-- Miss P. was quite amazed at the amount of food in the place (including the steaks) as I generally have about 1 egg..."   127    
       
  12 Jan.  "I'm terribly sorry you have to put up with all this mess and inconvenience. The only consolation I can see from your point of view (if it is one) is that you'll finally get a clean ceiling...."   128    
       
  Easter.  'How sweet of you--I love the Rockingham cup. Tho' I really feel you ought to keep your nice things yourself...."  129    
       
  14 Aug.  "Thank you so much for the very nice meal last night--I did enjoy it. So sorry I forgot The Observer...."   6    
       
  15 Aug.  Thank you for your letter and cutting. I expect "Lady C." will be pretty awful but I'd like to go anyhow, if you're sure you want me as a companion...."  130    
       
  16 Sept.  "KT wants me to go round there so I'm afraid I'll be late. Perhaps you will come and fetch me if I'm not bac, in 1/2 an hour?"   131    
       
  14 Oct.  "Thanks so much for suggesting you might bring the money, but as I told you there's no need. Thys is coming tonight if you'd like to come...."  132    
       
  17 Oct.  "Forgive me for not answering yesterday. I had an awful day with this electrical work being done, and in the evening had to be at Herman's quite early...."  133    
       
  2 Nov.  'May I get the broom-- I [---] to [---] you yesterday. Am nearly insane, unable to use telephone either yesterday or today...."  134    
       
  "I wish you had my big bell--my phone must have been off ever since Theresa dusted it!...."  135    
       
2:10 1 Jan 1962.  "Was it masochism, guilt, or what, mad you choose the worst day of the century for your journey?"  136    
       
  28 Jan.  "Thank you for writing to me and saying such nice things. They aren't true of course. But it's nice to be told...."  137    
       
  29 Jan.  "Thank you for ADAM. May I keep it a day or 2? I would like to show it to Peter O...."  138    
       
  5 Feb.  "Thank you so much for last night. Owning to Theo's talent for disorganizing everything--especially me--I forgot to say things I meant to say...."  139    
       
  16 Feb.  'Thank you so much for getting the name of a photographer for me. I have already got one from Peter Claas, but have written to yours as well asking him to let me know what he'd charge...."  Typed note.  140    
       
  17 Mar.  "Many thanks for your letter and Adam.  Sorry I've [missed] you but have been [officially] "ill", and certainly not fit for human society...."  141    
       
  20 Mar.  "Thank you for letting me know you'll be away Wednesday and Thursday. Sorry you have to go to the funeral--they are always depressing occasions--hope it will be a bit [---] ..."  142    
       
  26 Mar.  "I know from my own experience how distressing it is to watch anybody deteriorate--even without the personal relationship there must be in your case. So I really do sympathize...."  143    
       
  12 Apr. "They've been working on your telephone [---] this morning. I do hope it's O.K. now. I wish mine was out of order, then Leonora could not have gotten me...."  144    
       
  17 Apr.  "If it hadn't been so bloody cold last night I'd have put a note in saying thank you for the delicious bird--it really was extremely kind of you to take so much trouble...."  145    
       
  6 Jun.  "Oh dear, I was about to ask you if you thought they would show one or 2 of my pictures at the club. I did ask Rhys but you know how he is..."   3    
       
  7 Jun.  "Thank you so much for your note. No, of course there's nothing you can do. Except speak to me when you have a spare moment to distract me from my difficulties...."  4    
       
  8 Jun.  "Thanks for your letter. Perhaps we could have ameal together one evening during the weekend...."   5    
       
  12 Jun. "I've just shown the house to a woman who seemed really interested in picutures--[---] especially--hope you won't mind that I let her look at yours...."   6    
       
  16 Jun.  "Many thanks for your letter and enclosure and for wanting to give me a meal tonight. I would really prefer to eat up here if you don't mind...."  Typed and signed note.  7    
       
  29 Jun.  "Thank you for your kind thought and the painting--sorry t be so irresponsive, but it's not in my control...."   8    
       
  5 Jul.  "Thank you so much for giving me such an elegant meal last night--I did enjoy it...."   9    
       
  9 Jul. "Terribly kind of you to take so much trouble forme over that wretched ms. I am more than grateful...."   10    
       
  16 Jul. "Thank you for your note and enclosure and also for reading this. Yes, I'd be very gald to talk about it tomorrow evening. I have to go to the hospital at 5.30 but should be back by 7...."   11    
       
  17 Jul.  "Yes, 8.15--anytime you like this evening. It doesn't matter to me. You will tell me what you think of the C, won't you?...."  12    
       
  23 Jul.  "Don't feel I could face the journey to Stratford. But I'd very much like to come to the American [thing] on Thursday...."   13    
       
  26 Jul.  "I wonder what the thing was like. I do hope I didn't upset you by not coming. You can't imagine how horrible it is to feel so ill all the time...."  14    
       
  2 Aug.  "Just a note under the hairdryer to thank you again for taking so much trouble with my ms. I wish you'd taken me with you last night...."  15    
       
  11 Aug.  "So sorry I forgot the potatoes--why didn't you reminde me? I'm in the [---] of a specially long fever and feel as sick as a dog...."   16    
       
  22 Aug.  "So glad you think the [TV] situation is hopeful. Of course I'd like to meet A.O. but I'm not sure whether it's wise. You must know my total incapacity for any sort of self- romotion...."   17    
       
  25 Aug.  "Sorry I've been so slow in producing this. There are several things in it I thought worth reading and for this reason would like to have it back sometime when you've finished with it...." 20    
       
  1 Sept.  "I meant to write last night but went to one of those so called parties I always find so disrupting to my routine...."   18    
       
  6 Sept.  "Thank you so much for the tickets. I remember when we talked about it, and I'll tell KTh when I see him next...."  19    
       
  20 Sept.  "Thanks for your letter. I'm sorry you've been feeling lost. It's all because you don't go away for your holiday...."   21    
       
  6 Oct.  "Thank you so much for the cuttings. May I keep yours, or do you want it back? The Times I saw. Guardian was a bit better, wasn't it? I'm glad other people agree that you can't mess about with reality just for fun...."  22    
       
  8 Oct.  "I rang you last night but your number was engaged and I didn't ring again as it was after 12. I know you didn't ask me to criticize your poem, and this is not a thing I'd do normally...."  Typed and signed note.   174    
       
  12 Oct.  "Did you go to see your mother? How is she? Or, I suppose I mean how was your reaction to her state...."  23    
       
  15 Oct.  :In so much confusion last night I forgot to ask whether you'll be eating at home at all and could do with some of this veal...."   24    
       
  17 Oct.  "This is the [first] time I've felt able to concentrate on your poems (it would be easier if they were typed, as your writing is hard to read)...."   25    
       
  28 Oct.  "I'm afraid I must owe you 1/- as this is absolutely all the change I have. Please remind me. It was most kind of you last night. Now you seee how difficult it is about KT coming here...."   26    
       
  8 Nov.  "Many happy returns. Would you like this as a birthday card? Please keep it if so, other wise send it back...."   27    
       
  24 Nov. "Thank you. Sorry you didn't get me yesterday. Why don't you [---]? People are always complaining about this. Must [---] out to buy food for Leonora so I'd rather you came tomorrow...."   28    
       
  27 Nov.  "I'm sorry about your mother. Surely she can no longer be the mother you knew--so is it not impossible to dissociate yourself from her?...."  29    
       
  8 Dec. "Thank you for last night--I'm sorry, again, that I messed it up--and the poem. Have you changed much? I'd like to compare with what I read last night...."  30    
       
  21 Dec. "Thank you for your kind invitation for 8.15 Tuesday, which I'm delighted to accept. Rhys has given me what seems a huge Xmas pudding made by his sister...."  31    
       
2:11 Jan 1963.  "I wish you'd remind me when I forget to [pay]. I don't know how much the wine cost, but hope this will cover it and the bread...."  33    
       
  6 Jan.  "I didn't answer your letter before as I was in a hurry to apologize about the phone bill--I do hope you don't mind...."   32    
       
  22 Jan.  "You said you wanted this, though you've probably forgotten by now. Anyway, here it is. the implication of the title, in case it eludes you, is that we all have to be pretty tought to stand life at all."  Typed and signed note.   34    
       
  23 Jan.  "So sorry I didn't return this. We can talk about why you "go down at the end" sometime if you like...."   35    
       
  1 Feb.  "[H---] last night? Doesn't sound too good from papers, but of course that's nothing to go by...."   36    
       
  1 Feb. "I have agreed to show the house to 2 people tomorrow about 11 a.m. weather "permitting"--had done so before I realized tomorrow was Saturday...."   37    
       
  11 Feb.  "My phone doesn't seem to be working. Thank you so much for your help. Here is what I produced finally-- I wanted to show it to you, but shall send it off tomorrow unless you tell me not to...."  Typed and signed note.  38    
       
  15 Feb.  "I feel guilty about behaving badly last night.  It was only because I [---]....."  106    
       
  17 Feb.  "Many thanks for letting me see the poem--funny you should write about cats...." 39    
       
  19 Feb. "Thanks so much but KT is giving me a treatment (at the moment don't know how long for) in the hope of avoiding this operation...."  40    
       
  22 Feb. I never found out how much the [D---] were, so will you have a [---] in exchange? They seem very shoddy, but all I could get...."  41    
       
  12 Mar.  "I'm sorry I didn't thank you for your various communications. Please forgive me. I feel so exhausted...."  42    
       
  18 Mar. Thanks for showing me this. It strikes me as being what's called "poetic prose" rather than a poem..."   43    
       
  27 Mar. Many thanks for your letter. Glad Cooke is O.K.  It looks a bit battered and out of shape but works apparently...."  45     
       
  31 Mar.  "Of course you must go on with the poem. I see my publisher does poetry, but I wouldn't recommend him to my worst enemy...."  46    
       
  11 Apr. Thank you so much for the poem and for all the presents--it was very sweet of you. I wish you'd stayed longer last night...."  47    
       
  3 May.  "Sorry I haven't been in touch with you the last few days. I did try to phone on Wednesday but left it too late, having received a message that [---] ring  again...."48    
       
  4 May.  "I wanted to thank you last night for your present and message. Too late I suppose. You say sometimes you will do things for me. I know such phrases shouldn't be treated as accurate, but I wonder if you'd [---] have time to come with me...."  49    
       
  16 May.  "So sorry I forgot the money last night--please remind me. Could you help me open garage some time if you feel strong enough?...."  50    
       
  17 May.  "Many thanks for your nice letter. I won't answer now as I hope to get this in your letter box before you go."   51    
       
  30 May. "Thank you for your 2 letters--how nice of you to say you will be "at hand" when KT goes away. There is really nothing I can write about it, but I do appreciate it more than words could even express...."  52    
       
  31 May.  "Thank you so much for your letter and the money.  It seems such a long time ago--since this morning--that I feel I can't say anything appropriate...."   53    
       
  11 Jun.  "Thank you so much for your letter. I wanted to explain that I never can speak at night after I've had [---] it seems to paralize my voice...."  175    
       
  25 Jun.  "Thank you so much for your letter and I presume the list of the MIRROR--so it won't [---] after all...."   54    
       
  26 Jun. "Thank you for your letter. Would you come and have something to eat with me, if it isn't too late and you've nothing better to do after seeing your mother?"  55    
       
  27 Jun.  "Thanks so much for last night--I did enjoy it. The critics seem to think much the same as we did--that the actors were responsible....."   56    
       
  30 Jun.  "Thank you so much for the S S last night (what [unfortunate ---] it was) and for the poem which I don't quite understand...."  57    
       
  9 Jul.  "I hope you didn't misunderstand me about the Canal trip. I'd really like very much to do it...."  58    
       
  Jul.  "Many thanks. Sorry not to have seen you last night--I thought you said you'd be coming back but undoubtedly I've got it wrong. Have been in such a turmoil all week...."  59    
       
  10 Jul.  "I wrote the next and this last note and have only just found the poem. Thank you, they made me feel a little more cheerful...."  60    
       
  Jul.  "Yes do come tonignt. Thanks for the [cutting]. I return your poem which I have read with attention, adding some pencil comments...."  61    
       
  12 Jul.  "You've got a good idea for a story here--hope you bring it off. So sorry not to have thanked you before for the [---] but I've had a madly exhausting day...."  62    
       
  14 Jul.  "I meant to give you these last night--I'm so terrified of losing them. Is this all? I do think the watch-clock is a great success...."  63    
       
  18 Jul.  "Thank you so much for the tickets--I am most grateful--and always shall be (sounds like something out of a prayer book, doesn't it?)...."  69    
       
  30 Jul.  "Yes do come this evening if you're back. Doesn't matter if not. I have S and G (suppose you [can't] come too?)...."  68    
       
  31 Jul.  "You are lucky to have such an obliging contact in outer space (appropos ship from Uranus-- [mysteriously] dropped from news--the stuff--mineral-- they found was crystallized carbon--i.e. diamonds...."  67    
       
  9 Aug. How exciting that you are turning into a cat.
Please do describe the change....ANS 66.
   
       
  20 Aug.  "Seems rather late to phone so this is to say I'll give the 5/- to T on Wednesday. I'd like to see you when you come back, but don't bother to get anything to eat...."  65    
       
  1 Sept.  "Many thanks for [New Statesman]. I [thought last night] a great success and enjoyed it very much. Phone if I can help washup...." 64    
       
  3 Sept.  "Of course send poems to S P. I've already told you I'll write to introduce you if you like. But perhaps you prefer to be independent?...."  70    
       
  6 Sept.  "It was nice seeing you last night--I felt much less [in---] for a moment. Sorry only [Express ---] as I want to show T this gardening column in [Daily Telegraph, you can have it after she's seen it if you want it...."  71    
       
  19 Sept.  "Thank you so much for taking me tonight. I hope the 2nd play was better than I expected...." 72    
       
  27 Sept.  "Do you know where [Piscator] is staying or how one could find out? KTh wants very much to see him...."  73    
       
  4 Oct.  "Many thanks. I [thought] you might like to know what's been going on so close to use [---]. I never knew a thing about him except his bloody dog barking...."  74    
       
  15 Oct.  "I wasn't sure last night whether you wanted to be alone or would have preferred me to stay. I'm sorry if I did the wrong thing...."  75    
       
  17 Oct.  "I hope it hasn't been too distressing. And I hope to see you soon."  76    
       
  23 Oct.  "Thank you for your note. I feel so exhausted by all these disasters I have on hand that I can't sleep and really don't think I've the energy to come to the [P---] suitable as it seems...."  77    
       
  19 Dec.  "Thanks for your 2 letters. Sorry about last night--I went to see [Kleine Eyolf] which really wasn't too bad--anyway the unadulterated gloom can through very well and some imaginative photography of the [fjord]...."  78    
       
2:12 Jan 1964.  "I was very sorry to miss ["Andora"]--it sounded interesting, thought the reviews I've read are not too good. I would very much like to see it...."  86    
       
  9 Jan.  "Sorry you didn't come in to see me after you got back yesterday. I tried to phone you as the black cat came home with me and I thought you might like to see it...."  81    
       
  16 Jan.  "Thank you for your note. Here is your poem and the 2 other things I should have returned before. Many thanks for lending them...."  82    
       
  17 Jan.  "Thank you for the cutting--we can speak about it this evening. Are you all right? I think sausages were poisoned...."  83    
       
  18 Jan.  "What a revolting story. [T---] of the wretched outcasts seems [---] civilized by comparison to that if the [p---] who hunted them down with bloodhounds and took such a Jehovah-like [---]...."  84    
       
  19 Jan.  "Thank you so much for all your kindness yesterday. I can't keep on saying the same thing, but I hope you realize and believe that I really appreciate it...."  80    
       
  21 Jan.  "Thanks for your note. How much do you pay for nylon shirts?...."  85    
       
  30 Jan.  "Thank you for the poem. I'm very glad you are doing the book. And thanks so much for [putting] in the ribbon. Yes, I remember Grove Hospital now you remind me...."  79    
       
  7 Feb.  "Thank you very much. How misleading reviewers are. From both Daily Express and Telegraph should [--- WAWW] much better than you say. I'm glad I didn't ruin the big [t---] of the year...."  87    
       
  15 Feb.  "Thank you for the fabulous smoked salmon last night--so good of you to think of it...."  88    
       
  20 Feb.  "What alot of correspondence. Yes I found one letter in the box last night--may [take weeks]. I haven't got any potatoes...."  89    
       
  4 Mar.  Thank you for the poem. And for the [tray] which is a great improvement on the old one...."  90    
       
  6 Mar.  "Now at 4 a.m. it occurs to me that there are several points we should discuss (purely business) such as: There is someone willing and eager to buy the house for 15,000 [pounds]--would you prefer to accept this to save trouble?"  91    
       
  8 Mar.  "Sorry about this evening. But I wasn't terribly eager to see [---] agin anyhow. After speaking to you, I rang T to make sure I was expected tomorrow...."  92    
       
  18 Mar. "Thanks for your letter. Yes, I'm going out tonight but if you'd like to come up for a drink about 7 please do. Tomorrow I'll be here...."  93
 
   
       
  8 Apr. " Have to [---] to Gisela back at 8.30."   94    
       
  23 Apr.  "MacBeth sounds pretty awful. Theo asked me round tonight so I was hoping to see Julius Ceasar by NYT in modern dress--but apparently she [can't] get that programme...."  95    
       
  9 May.  "Thought of taking taxi sometime today to [Le B. Crose] nursery to get another plant. Would you like to come if you're not busy...."  96    
       
  8 Jun.  "You can't have left your pencil here. Both Therese and I have looked and it can't be found. Perhaps it's gone off somewhere to write that letter to the doctor we were talking about...."  97    
       
  12 Jul.  "Surely you must know there is only one thing in my mind at the present time--which has been there ever since March. And since I can't reconcile what happened later with my idea of [ethical] contact I can't help feeling dubious about trusting you...."  98    
       
  6 Aug.  "Do you remember Emilie said last night, "I am pregnant with a corpse"? It seemed a normal phrase...."  99    
       
  23 Aug.  "I had a very bad night and having washed 2 sweaters [---] feel exhausted already. So if you'll forgive me I won't come to the "Mermaid"...."  100    
       
  16 Sept.  "So sorry to come in like that. For some reason I thought you weren't there. I sent the ticket to G as she said she'd like it...."  101    
       
  20 Sept.  "Thank you for your letter. It was nice of you to write. I don't suppose you remember I mentioned [---] Happening to you in a taxi outside Buckingham Palace not long ago...."  Typed and signed letter.  102    
       
  30 Sept.  "Tonight is that party I so wildly agreed to go to. If you could come and have a drink with me beforehand, I'd be glad of your moral support...."  103    
       
  3 Oct.  "I meant to leave a note to thank you for [---] with the money. It was kind of you. My accountant, by the way, says it's absolutely essential to declare the rent (in view of the [---] official's visit) and suggested doing so at 4.40 a week...."  104    
       
  6 Oct.  "I'm awfully sorry about last night. Now I'm more or less all right, but have put off going out tonight, so if you're back fairly early do come in...."  105    
       
  22 Oct.  "What a curse it is not remembering anything. When I said las night there were 2, [what] I meant, of course, was don't let [S---] come...."  107    
       
  Nov.  "Why be sorry you mentioned your birthday? I should really have remembered as I know it's important to you...."  109    
       
  6 Nov.  "How terribly kind of you to bring the [---]. I didn't think of telling you not to bother as I thought you knew I only wanted it on Fridays...."  108    
       
  19 Nov.  "It would be nice if you'd bring scallops or something to9morrow night. I'm going out Saturday. That woman [Dr. Barbara Moore] is a nuisance."  110    
       
  2 Dec.  "Here is your cutting returned with many thanks--I think it's very good no wonder [she] was pleased...."  111    
       
  19 Dec.  "George woke me up a minute ago saying with great disapproval, "I liked you better before you got so cynical and distrustful"...."  112    
       
  Dec.  "Thank you for your letter and poem. Yes, do come this evening. Perhaps you will watch me trying to make pancakes for the first time in my life...."  113    
       
  22 Dec.  "Thanks for your note. I suppose you can't spare a minute to look in here before you go to the show tonight?...."  114    
       
  31 Dec.  "Thank you so much for the poem. I suppose you saw about [N---IA'S] fire? [---] pictures right now be welcome?..."  115    
       
2:13 Feb 1965.  "How wonderful for you to meet our Queen. Just think how people would envy you...."  117    
       
  2 Feb.  "I'm so sorry you had all that bother on G H's ticket. It's always the same, the more you do for people, the more you have to do...."  116    
       
  Feb/Mar.  "Thank you for showing [---]. If you want my opinions 1) is better because more thought out--less a straight forward statement of despair..."  118    
       
  24 Mar.  "I'm sorry you were so depressed last night. But I'm afraid there's no consolation...."  119    
       
  26 Apr.  "Thanks for paper. Why didn't you come last night? I thought you should or would...."  120    
       
  6 May.  "Thank you so much for your letters and poem (which I'd like to keep and read again.) Regarding the candle, etc., you doubtless read Necrophobia by Pritchett in [New Stateman] ..."  121    
       
  25 May.  "Thank you for your letter and the others. Yes, do come on Wednesday if you still want to...."  122    
       
  Jun.  "I meant to return this book yesterday. Thank you so much for getting it for me. I will pay the "fine" if you tell me how much it is..."  123    
       
  29 Jul.  "Would you like some of this so-called continental delicacy? It was given me but I don't much like. Not bad with [lots of butter]...."  124    
       
  29 Jul.  "At 8.50-9.15 tomorrow, Friday, there is something on BBC about snakes, etc. I'd quite like to see...."  125    
       
  2 Oct.  "Thank you for money. Were you able to get the gin? I haven't got any so if not could you tell me as I must buy some...."  126    
       
  21 Oct.  "It seems a long time since I saw you. Do you ever think of me when we don't meet? No, of course not...."  128    
       
  Nov.  "I've been listening to that bloody lady F. What a [---]. You know [---] a plan now to stop addicts getting supplies from doctors even if they are on the home office list--i.e., to introduce compulsory "disintoxication" for everyone...."  171    
       
  15 Nov.  "Thank you so much. I think your notice is very good. I do hope you won't mind my sending it to Rhys in an attempt to get him to go with me...."  129    
       
  5 Jan 1966.  "I wanted to say again how very much I appreciate your kindness in bothering with my old cuttings...."  130    
       
  10 Jan.  "I like the poem very much. It is nice to think that somebody still writes poems about me...."  131    
       
  13 Sept.  "Thanks for Observer. Sorry I didn't bring [Sunday Telegraph] yesterday. This high temperature [--- ] deprives me of all energy...."  132    
       
  Dec.  Thank you for the kind things you said in the letter. Sweet of you to try and improve my morale...."  134    
       
  Dec.  "I've been thinking your birthday was on Wednesday, but now I see it's tomorrow. So I thought I'd leave these now in case I don't see you then...."  Handwritten and signed postcard.  135    
       
  Dec.  "Thank you for the delicious dinner. I hope it didn't sound awful when I said I had no one to [talk] to. Of course I'm extremely grateful to you for talking to me...."  136    
       
2:14 27 Mar 1967.  "How extremely kind of you to let me borrow your copy. I shall do all I can to ensure its return...."  137    
       
  29 Mar.  "Thank you so much for the braclet. I was given one the other day so now I'm--what does one do [with] a lot of these--luxuriate?"  138    
       
  11 Apr.  "Thank you very much for being so kind yesterday and for all the things you gave me. I hope the chicken was cooked all right...."  139    
       
  23 May.  "Thanks for your letter. I'm sorry you're haveing such a bad time. These things are distressing I know. No consolation at all today--it won't last for ever...."  140    
       
  May.  "Yes, tomorrow's O.K. I look forward to seeing you then. Alan Ross has taken one of the stories as [---] you say you're writing."  141    
       
  Aug.  "I would be delighted to see you tomorrow if you're still free then. I've been ill these last days, unable to do any shopping and as T's away I haven't got any food...."  142    
       
  Sept.  "Thanks for your letter. It is kind of you to try to encourage me about my work. Of course I don't think you read rubbish...."  143    
       
  Oct.  "Thank you very much for [taking] up [Pum-]. I'm afraid she's no good being so far away. Clifton Hill's where [S---] lives--in fact next door...."  147    
       
  Oct.  "A 1000 thanks for taking the parcel. Quite angelic of you. I think your comments on [the C---] are very good...."  144    
       
  2 Oct.  "Please [---] on other side. (Having typed that far I remembered [---] its too risky to part with receipts ever)...."  148    
       
  3 Oct.  "I am touched that you should remember my complaint that nobody ever says anything kind or appreciative to me anymore...."  149    
       
  11 Oct.  "Thanks for your note. Sorry I missed the play. I often do seem to miss the interesting ones, don't I?...."  145    
       
  12 Oct.  "'Wine At 4s 2d A Bottle.'"  [Press cutting taped to a card with AMs notes written in the margins.]    
       
  30 Nov.  "Sorry you're having such a depressive weeek. Yes, [sordid] being involved with all these pains...."  150    
       
  28 Mar 1968.  "Shall come home Saturday. Hope you'll be able to help. St. Clarks Hospital."  151    
       
  17 Apr.  "Here is a small contribution towards whatever you like in appreciation for your kindness and patience.  "  152    
       
  25 Apr.  "How kind of you to think of coming to SPC tomorrow. But I'm afraid it would mean leaving the office early as the appointment is at 5.45...."  153    
       
  May.  "Thank you for your 2 letters. I think the jacket is a success--no pants today, unfortunately...."  252    
       
  5 May.  "I forgot to ask today if you'd get me another bottle of Vermouth. If you go to a pub on Sunday would you mind?...."  154    
       
  Jun.  "I didn't mean to accept this--really there is no need to give it to me. Hope to see you soon...."  155    
       
  6 Jun.   Yes, Friday and Sunday O.K. for me. Tomorrow would you have time to buy something to eat?...."  157    
       
  12 Jun.  "Friday is O.K. I'm not going to get C. What's the good?...."  158    
       
  19 Jun.  "I forgot to say on Sunday that I'd finished the book you so kindly got for me...."  159    
       
  27 Jun.  "Thank you so much for your letter and for the invaluable writing pads. I don't quite understand whether you want to come see me tomorrow night...."  156    
       
  2 Jul.  "[O.K.] I'll keep the gin as you insist. Very many thanks. And thank you for taking the card...."  160    
       
  30 Jul.  "What a shame to miss all hose diamonds and 10 [pounds] notes--Saul might have dropped onto you...."  161    
       
  1 Aug.  "Thank you for your note---I'm sorry you were so exhausted last night--why didn't you tell me sooner?...."  162    
       
  21 Aug.  "Thank you so much for your note. Who are these people with human attributes? (They must be superhuman....Typed note.  163    
       
  Sept.  "What's the matter? I thought you were coming to see me last night? Did you just forget?...."  169    
       
  24 Oct.  "I'm sorry you had trouble with the telephone. I was in the room with it at all the times you mentioned, so I rang up to tell them something was wrong with it...."  164    
       
  5 Nov.  "Thanks for letter. Yes, tomorrow's O.K. if you're sure you want to come. I feel it must be a depressing bore to spend an evening with me in my present state...."  165    
       
  11 Oct.  "I hope I've got the day right and that it is your birthday. As I can't go out to get you anything and have no idea what you would like, will you please get yourself something with enclosed...."   166    
       
  14 Nov.  "I am very conscious of not saying enough about how I [approach] things like that [---] you did the [--- ]. I'm afraid you may think I don't but I really do...."  133    
       
  29 Nov.  "Thank you so much for the needles. I'm so sorry you had all that trouble finding them. The entire supply and demand business has gone mad as [---] and anything connected with them...."  167